Are you single, in a relationship, or married?
Single, but I did see a couple of escorts while married during a long period where my wife was living overseas.
What is your job?
How many times have you visited escorts?
7-10? Can’t remember exactly
What was your first experience with an escort like?
Very pleasant and self affirming. I had discovered the Erotic Review and spent a lot of time researching who I wanted to see. I was nervous when I first went to see her, but she was really cool and not in a rush to get it over with. I ended up spending about two hours with her even though I had only requested an hour.
Why do/did you seek out escorts?
Mostly it was something I wanted to get out of my system. I loved my wife, but she was not particularly sexy. I wanted the fantasy of a woman who knew how to use her sexuality to seduce me.
I saw a few more after my divorce, mostly to help me get my confidence back.
Earlier this summer I went to a high end brothel in Germany, which was my first time seeing an escort in a couple years. That was mostly about just wanting to have a new experience. I had a great time. I also saw an escort in Hungary for the same reason. I will remember those experiences fondly until the day I die.
What’s the relationship between your work and visiting escorts?
None that I can think of.
How much money have you spent on escorts?
What’s the biggest misconception about johns/escorts?
I can’t speak for a lot of other johns but I simply like new experiences and intimacy (not just sexual). I have a friend who did a sort of global sex tour before finding the woman he married and he seems to have the same attitude. Neither of us look down on sex workers in any way. (He used to date a stripper. I currently am seeing a former stripper.)
Do you think prostitution should be legal?
Absolutely. It would make life simpler and safer for the escorts. That said, I wouldn’t have a problem with health regulation and zoning laws prohibiting street walkers from just standing on a corner soliciting clients.
Why did you agree to be interviewed?
Partly because I’m an attention whore. :-)
But more importantly, I think sex workers are unfairly judged and stereotyped. Yes, many of them have chaotic lives, but all the ones I saw really seemed to have their shit together. They were uniformly great conversationalists who did not seem ashamed of their work.
These days there is much more information and advice available to both sex workers and clients. I hope my tiny little contribution will help them make good decisions.
More broadly speaking, there is a crazy level of cognitive dissonance in a society that simultaneously uses sex to sell shampoo but condemns the frank expression of sexual desire.
Seeing escorts helped me become more comfortable and confident with my sexuality. This in turn has led to a *lot* more personal success in my dating life and in developing “civilian” intimate relationships.