Interviews with Johns

Why do men seek out prostitutes? Johns reveal why. Anonymous. Interested in being interviewed for this project? Submit an email.

Nov 7

The Correctional Officer

Are you single, in a relationship, or married?

I’ve had a girlfriend for the past 18 months.

What is your job?

I am a correctional officer.

How many times have you visited escorts?

If I had to put a number on it, I’d say 800 times over the past 18 years - maybe a few more, maybe a few less. That’s about 44 visits per year, or a visit ever 8 days, if my math is correct (check, it probably isn’t). I’ve had dormant periods and periods when I’ve been out of control. These days, I don’t get out as much, but I can spend up to eight hours a day viewing online ads and review boards. It’s all part of being a john, I guess.

I don’t have a type, at least not when I’m buying sex. I can see and 18-year-old on Monday, and a 55-year-old on Friday. Generally, I don’t see a woman more than once. I prefer it that way. If I see someone more than once, I begin to develop feelings, and all those feelings just make a mess of things. Paying seems perverse once feelings get involved.

What was your first experience with an escort like?

It happened at a hotel in the [redacted] area of [redacted].

At the time I had gone without sex for nearly a year because I was taking a prescription medication to treat depression. The medication rendered me impotent. I quit taking the pills because I wanted to have sex again, but I didn’t want to jump right into it with an ordinary girl. My confidence was low and I feared sexual failure. I was worried that I would cum too fast or not at all, that women would consider me a dud in bed. Visiting a prostitute seemed like the safest thing to do.

It was pretty straightforward. I found a woman who advertised in the local paper and set up a time to meet her. She was a petite brunette and probably in her early 40s. I was very intimidated because I’d only ever slept with girls my own age. She was kind, though, and walked me through the whole thing. I think she enjoyed having a client so much younger than herself. In the end, I did just fine.

Why do/did you seek out escorts?

Loneliness, depression and the urge to die. They are all the same. I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. I no longer try to treat it; I live with it as best I can. This illness isolates you though, even from those you love. You become lonely. And when you become lonely, you seek companionship wherever you can find it. Frankly, going to an escort to combat your loneliness is a losing strategy. I have seen 800 women and can only recall a handful of really great experiences. Most encounters make me question why I bothered to leave the house in the first place.

What’s the relationship between your work and visiting escorts?

I’m not sure there is a relationship. Obviously, after swearing an oath to uphold the law and avoid behaving in any way that would bring the [redacted] into disrepute, I shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing. But let’s be clear, I started doing this long before I started working in law enforcement. My job is something I do a few days a week. Outside of that, I could care less about law enforcement.

That’s not a very satisfying answer is it? You’re probably thinking, how can you be LE and fuck whores? I just can. Morally, this does not pose a problem for me. I’m not hurting anybody and I’m not ripping anybody off. I’m not showing girls my badge and demanding a freebie. I don’t even tell them what I do for a living. We fuck and part ways.

…Upon further consideration, there is a link between my job and visiting escorts. I don’t see, or I try really hard not to see, pimped-out girls. My reason? I just don’t like pimps. I deal with them every day, I know what they’re about, and I don’t like them. I think they’re really, really evil people. I wish I could say I was always so fussy, but I can’t. There were plenty of times when I didn’t bother to ask myself why a young woman was lying on a dirty mattress in a shabby room. I lacked the imagination to see her as a fellow human being, someone who could suffer and feel sadness just as much as I could. I am ashamed of that.

How much money have you spent on escorts?

This is painful to answer, but it has to be in the neighbourhood of $90,000. That’s an enormous sum for an ordinary guy like me, but when you start doing this sort of thing you don’t think, I’m going to spend $90,000 on sex. It’s more like, I’m going to spend $120 on this girl and I’m never going to do this again. It was always the last time. Within days, I’d have the urge again.

Usually, I try to spend as little as possible. That’s not because I’m cheap. I’ve found that the difference between a woman who charges $400/hr. and a woman who charges $120/hh is exactly nil where looks and services are concerned.

I just book women by the half hour now, too. I used to book by the hour but it has become too difficult for me. I just can’t perform these intimate acts with a complete stranger for an extended period of time. Thirty minutes really is the limit. Otherwise, I feel like I’m making a mockery of something. It’s not like we’re lovers.

What’s the biggest misconception about johns/escorts?

I imagine it’s that there is a certain type of person who is a john. He’s pretty repulsive. I don’t think there’s a type. I don’t think I’m repulsive, either.

As for escorts, it has to be that they value the practice of safe sex. I’ve lost count of the number of offers I’ve received for BBFS. It’s quite common and often only costs an extra fifty.

Do you think prostitution should be legal?

I believe people should be able to buy and sell sex if that’s what they want to do. I believe it will always be a dirty and exploitative business no matter how much it is regulated.

Why did you agree to be interviewed?

That’s a good question. I’m unhappy and I’ve been unhappy for a long time. I’ll do anything to be happy. That surely involves changing the way I’ve lived my life for the past two decades. Maybe talking is the beginning of that change.