Interviews with Johns

Why do men seek out prostitutes? Johns reveal why. Anonymous. Interested in being interviewed for this project? Submit an email.

Nov 4

The Site Reliability Engineer

Are you single, in a relationship, or married?

Currently in a relationship; most of the time when I was seeing escorts was while I was divorced and not dating.

What is your job?

I’m a Site Reliability Engineer at a major Internet company.

How many times have you visited escorts?

It’s likely in the low dozens. Between 2005 and 2009 when I was most active, it was a monthly or more frequent experience. Now it’s maybe once or twice a year on business trips, usually in countries where it is legalized and/or regulated. My partner is aware of this.

What was your first experience with an escort?

December 2000. It was the subject of my entry in the Letters From Johns project. Afterwards there was a five year break before I saw one again. Then it came about because I was lonely and didn’t really feel like dealing with a more complicated relationship.

Why do/did you seek out escorts?

Loneliness, interest in human contact. It’s been interesting to watch the shift as my home life stabilized that it really became something for when I’m travelling.

What’s the relationship between your work and visiting escorts?

There was a lot of overlap with business travel. Earlier when I was at a startup, I was’t dating at all and was working 80-100 hours weeks, it just seemed easier.

How much money have you spent on escorts?

Somewhere between twelve and fourteen thousand dollars.

What’s the biggest misconception about johns/escorts?

There’s a misperception of it being a wildly decadent lifestyle, on both sides. Most of the escorts I’ve known had other jobs, or were going to school, or just generally doing it economically. It’s not like they were partying all the time. The fact that the Google search for “hookers and blow” has over a million results sort of indicates the stereotype of what Johns are expected to be like.

Do you think prostitution should be legal?

Yes, with some basic regulation. Australia seems to have done pretty well with this.

Why did you agree to be interviewed?

I think there is a lot of misinformation in the public discourse about prostitution, both about providers and clients.