The Music Tutor
Are you single, in a relationship, or married?
I’m single though I have been in long term relationships.
What is your job?
I’m a music tutor.
How many times have you visited escorts?
Its hard to recall exactly but I would estimate about 60 times, the majority of which were visits to what are basically brothels, with about 10 visits to independent escorts. Some of these were repeat visits so I would guess that I have paid about 50 different women for sex.
What was your first experience with an escort like?
Well I was a virgin. Nothing wrong or uncommon about that I’m sure except that at the time I was socially clueless enough to believe the bragging of my college friends that they had all had sex. I was at the time cripplingly shy around girls, largely as the result of an old-fashioned Catholic upbringing and it was all too easy to believe that I was fated not to ‘get laid’ as it was called. I was watching porn regularly by this time (I’m still shocked by how easily young lads can access very hardcore material) and I suppose I became corrupted by it. Eventually in a fog of hormonal angst I researched what are locally called ‘massage parlours’ and chose one fairly nearby. The lady on the door was very nice, took my money and showed me into a room which was dimly lit but reasonably nicely furnished. I naively thought she herself might be a working girl (she looked good enough) but then she introduced me to [redacted]. [Redacted] looked amazing, flowing blonde hair and wearing nothing but a smile and the skimpiest of lingerie. She was incredibly sweet to me and worked out I was a virgin very quickly. What happened was what seems to be the standard parlour service; massage, stimulation by hand and breasts, oral and protected sex. It didn’t last very long but frankly it felt great. We chatted briefly afterwards and if it bothered her to have taken my virginity she gave no hint of it. I left and straightaway I felt horrendously guilty and ashamed of myself. I promised myself never to pay for sex again! Exactly one week later I was back. ‘Wondered how long it might take’ said the lady on the door. And that is how I got hooked on hookers. Incidentally, I never saw [redacted] again.
Why do/did you seek out escorts?
Why do I do it? From the start it was the sheer joy and pleasure of having sex at last. After my first time came my first time trying out a new position or my first full blowjob or my first time going down on a woman. The young man I was, was learning just how incredibly beautiful a naked female body is. I don’t know if it even crossed my mind that the industry was seedy, I was always nice to the women I saw and generally they were nice back, probably realising that I would give them no trouble. The first maturing of my attitude came with [redacted]. I had taken to trying several different brothels. This one was grim. [Redacted] was nice but she was horrified when she found out my age. She kept asking why I wanted to be in a place like that. It bothered her I learned because she had nephews of a similar age to me. We talked at length about why both of us were there at all. I left with a far greater insight into what I was doing. Shortly afterwards I got into a relationship which lasted 5 years. My proudest boast is that I remained completely faithful to her during this time. I’m glad because this proves I’m not some kind of addict, that I retained a sense of moral integrity and that basically I really had just been going for the sex. When single I have found myself going back to escorts. Frequently, I have gone several weeks or even months without a visit but each time I have lapsed again. I have tried to avoid the seedier establishments and as money is now an easier matter, to visit independent ladies. There is something of a thrill to be had from the sampling of what morality calls forbidden fruit and I have found it easier to satisfy fantasies by asking an escort to oblige. I would have worried what my girlfriend might have made of a dressing-up request or a recital of dirty talk. An escorts honest opinion, which I’d probably never hear anyway, is of less concern. I suspect this is common.
What’s the relationship between your work and visiting escorts?
None whatsoever, other than the obvious fact that it supplies the money.
How much money have you spent on escorts?
Good question. Hard to say because its over a long period of time and prices varied between escorts. Roughly we are talking about £4000 - £5000. Hard to translate into dollars because of the varying exchange rate over time but something in the region of $8000. Slightly sobering thought that, although I’ve got friends who have probably spent as much or more over time on cigarettes and alcohol. And escorts won’t kill you slowly…
What’s the biggest misconception about johns/escorts?
Well I can’t stress this shocking hidden truth enough to todays media. We’re…. not…. all…. drug-addled…..unhinged….. repulsive…… misogynistic……God-forsaken…… psychopaths!!!!!!!! Of course I undertsand entirely that many women in the industry have been trafficked and I hate the fact. If it was within my power to end that reality tomorrow I would do it. But there really are women who are acting of their own free-will. And before someone says they’re faking, I know that when I meet a woman who is rosy-cheeked, well fed with healthy looking hair and body language, speaking articulately in a local accent, showing me round a nice looking apartment with an obvious knowledge of where everything is and having a very pleasant talk with me, there is a chance that she is a drug addict who hates herself as much as her pimp but it does seem unlikely. As for the men, many are just lonely and a bit dysfunctional. Also, if a man does not want a proper relationship at a given time for any reason, financial, professional or emotional but still has a healthy sexual appetite then his choice is between escorts or one-night stands. It may well outrage conventional wisdom but I consider the former to be a slightly better form of behaviour than the latter. It is frequently more honest, no less exploitative and a potentially nicer experience. I’d rather see a call-girl than try to ‘pick-up’ a girl in a bar who may be a bit drunk and may believe wrongly that I have romantic feelings for her.
Do you think prostitution should be legal?
No. Legalisation wouldn’t fully deal with the problem of trafficking and there would probably be a massive increase in the numbers of clients and probably of escorts as well. And just because somethings legal doesn’t mean that it is moral or socially apporved of. Tougher penalties though might harm people who really aren’t harming others. The current British position, which seems to be that it is officially illegal but ‘clean’ operations are tolerated to allow focus on anti-trafficking operations, seems to be the best or perhaps the least worst option.
Why did you agree to be interviewed?
To get it off my chest I suppose and have my say on the matter. While I’m not ashamed of what I did, I’m not proud either. One day I want to be married with children and this be in the past. I suppose this is a way of me signing off a chapter of my life. Though of course I may well lapse until miss right comes along…………